So i just saw this movie called High Fidelity and had vague thoughts, so decided to blog about them. Yeah, seeing a movie, thinking about your life, cliché right? But hey, clichés are calledclichés because they're true. So anyways I was watching High Fidelity, great movie by the way, and it had some amazing music (no I'm not gonna blog about it), and it got me thinking about relationships, yada yada.
I've come to a hopefully premature conclusion that I'm not destined for followers, which frankly speaking is alright since it allows me to write all the personal nonsense I come up with. Yes, Anish Singhvi, ever the optimist. But I deter, so like I said I was thinking about relationships and girlfriends and stuff. And like always, the self-pitying self that I am, came to profound realization (for the 30th time, I guess) that there's a high degree of possibility that I'm going to die alone (I know its cliche, but again, its only because its true).
I've had one girlfriend in the 19 years of my existence. That's exactly one. And to be honest (lets face it, I'm just writing this for myself) that was a terrible experience. I think deep down I'd always known that it would end badly, but still, I wish it hadn't, and more importantly not so soon. Not because I particularly like my ex (in fact I think she's a slutty bitch) but I like the concept of a girlfriend, and because in the biography of personal relationships there would be something substantial to write under the space marked 'girlfriends'.
So why don't girls seem to like me? Frankly speaking, I have no fucking idea? It could be my height. I'm an odd 5'3-5'4. And recently one of my friends rated me a sucky 6 on 10, with the worse 7.5 on 10 'if only i were taller'. But how can an entire race be so, well, superficial? Isn't that what us guys are supposed to do? Okay sometimes it was my fault, I aimed to high. But later on I saw the same girls date people who in my opinion were worse off than even I was. And its precisely shit like this, which gets to me. And yes I do want a girlfriend. Not for the obvious reasons. But for the smaller, cheesy and totally cli·chéd reasons. Like not having to spend hours trying to convince friends to come for a move that I really want to see, and ending up waiting for the torrent to come up on Piratebay (great site!) or not having to eat alone/order in, when everyone else is to broke to come out. To be honest, in the three months that I did go out with a girl, I was trulyhappy. Hey isn't that what everyone eventually wants? But no, I'm stuck with blogging about this at 12 in the night. And I can't face any more rejection.
Heck maybe I should get a t-shirt with this on it:
Or maybe I can just watch Fight Club again. That's always a lot of fun :D